"Scary, Mommy, scary!!" My daughter cringes as we scurry past a moaning skeleton whose fingers grasp at our grocery cart. Blood covered costumes line store aisles, scary masks peek from the shelves, eerie music plays over the speakers--just another October shopping trip. When children feel more fear than fun, how do parents keep the anxiety to a minimum?
Anticipate more fear. Though many children enjoy the thrill of being scared, many others find the season a little too creepy. Children up to about age six or seven have trouble separating what's real from fantasy. So, even if children seem fine in the store, displays have the potential to stay in children's heads and create fear later. If you notice your child hiding their eyes or helplessly transfixed on the scary mask or making more visits to your bed during the night, this may be the month to let them stay home while you shop.
The scenes aren't confined just to stores. Our children also see scary decorations in yards and may have friends who relish showing off their new gargoyle mask with the spike through the eye. Simply being in tune with how your child is coping and quickly separating them if the atmosphere becomes too overwhelming will head off nightmares and anxiety that last long after Halloween is over.
Focus on fun. Fall fills the senses--from colorful trees to the smell of a bonfire to leaves crunching underfoot. If your children exhibit anxiety, turning their focus to the beauty of fall can work wonders. Painting funny faces on pumpkins or creating a fall scene with different gourds can add beauty to your home and give children a chance to actively participate in a non-threatening fall activity. Hayrides, corn mazes, and fall campouts are other ways to enjoy fall beauty.
Silly costumes divert attention to the fun. Children love to dress up. Amidst all the scary options are super heroes, princesses, and their favorite cartoon characters. Providing costumes to match our child's latest love allows him or her to join the fun of dress-up without enduring the grotesque and takes the focus from fearful to fun.
Explore alternatives. For parents of children who are especially sensitive or parents who would rather avoid the Halloween scene altogether, a variety of churches and community groups offer alternative parties with special themes that avoid anything scary. Check local papers for notices of fun alternatives that side-step the creepy altogether.
Fall offers beauty, excitement, and a variety of activities not available any other season--it's no time to hide away. If parents pay attention to how children experience all they are seeing, we can turn fall from a season of fear to a season of fun.
This month’s topic: What are your favorite fall activities?
