July--time for pulling weeds. As I struggled through the fourth garden box, I realized that the weeds I was pulling from our veggies bore a striking similarity to the weeds I'd been wrestling in our children's character. Perhaps there were some lessons in parenting from my tomato plants?

• Tiny weeds: 

Tiny weeds can be the hardest to tend. They're hard to grab, don't seem all that big a deal till you step back and see that they are everywhere, and the small roots have the strength of Goliath. While it would be easy to let these go to tend the larger weeds, these little buggers seem to do more damage in the long run.
So it goes with those tiny bad habits of our children. We focus on the big issues of lying or refusal to share, but let the little back talking or rolling of eyes slip by. Yet, those "little" habits reveal a heart that refuses to acknowledge authority and disparages relationship. In their heart our child cares more about getting his way than honoring the other person. While this weed can be hard to grasp--if let go, it spreads everywhere.

• Long roots:  

Ever had that weed whose roots seem to end somewhere in China? Yes, my peppers have those. Worse, the weed itself is covered in prickles so that grabbing hard enough to yank the root out really hurts.
Sometimes dealing with our children's sin really hurts. Sometimes we have to go really deep to get at the heart of sin. When this situation arises, I take great comfort from lessons learned in Paul Tripp's book, Age of Opportunity. He affirms the basic truth that our children's time with us is essentially a series of opportunities to work with our children and help them see where they need Jesus to save them in very concrete ways. A son's attraction to pornography, a daughter's decision to act hatefully toward her family--these sins are big, hurtful, and have deep roots. Only Jesus can yank this weed. But, we are the hands He uses. Be ready for some pain. Also be ready for the real growth that happens once the weeds are gone.

• Weeds that look like the plant: 

Perhaps the most frustrating weed problem of all--when I can't tell whether the greenery in my hand is strawberry or the weed that look identical. My son can always tell. He knows the minuscule differences in leaves. He has the patience to trace the runner back to the original plant to identify--strawberry vs. weed. I usually must wait for the other sure fire is test--does the plant produce fruit or destruction? 
Sometimes it's hard to tell whether our children's actions are leading to good character or bad. Is her sunny smile while playing with little sis a gracious showing of love or a manipulative ploy to get her way? Just like my son, we must have the patience to get to know the tiny nuances that identify good vs. bad. We must trace their behaviour back to its origin--what heart attitude leads to the current choice? We must engage enough to see the results of their choice--good fruit or destruction? While these character weeds can be hard to identify, as soul gardeners for our children we must dig them out so that God's fruit can grow.
For parents--it's always July. Always weeding time. I love how God gives us spiritual lessons in the concrete experiences of every day. As I finish pulling the last weed from the cucumbers, I simply pray, "Lord, please give me Your insight and guidance on tending the weeds in these children so that they can flourish for You."

Please join us to encourage each other with your insights, remembering to keep comments uplifting and considerate of all. Click on 'comments' below to discuss this month's topic.

The crowd gathered at Sam's was a dead give-away. Parents scoured the curriculum aisle looking for ways to keep the learning going over summer so children their don't fall behind. While the parental concern and support is admirable, parents who assign a slew of worksheets to copy the education children receive through the year not only ignore a huge opportunity for real learning--they may kill their their child's natural tendency to explore and grow.
Schools use worksheets for one reason--they can be graded in a heartbeat. Teachers who have 35 students to attend must have quick feedback that doesn't depend on communicating with each child.
Parents don't need that. Interaction with our children lets us know whether they understand or need a little assist. This means parents can focus on the hands-on activities that lead to real learning. Children remember what they do--especially when it relates to their interests. A better approach than worksheets:
Math--

• Let children choose a project to complete over the summer. Figuring the square footage for their own garden plot or tree house puts learning the math skills into a concrete situation that benefits them. The incentive to get the answer right grows exponentially when it's their creation on the line.
• While you're at it, let them figure the budget for the project. They develop more math skills plus an appreciation of how to make difficult choices to stay within available funds.
• Make trips to the grocery, the pool, or the vacation a time for them to figure the price. Children are for more interested in adding how many snacks they can get for their allotment than working an imaginary story problem.
• Play games. Nearly every board game builds some type of math skill. Kids learn while having fun. They love it even more when parents join the game.

Reading--

• Choose a great book to read aloud as a family. Children of all ages love hearing a story come to life. Following the story as you read builds both a love of reading and listening skills. What parent doesn't need that?
• Hand the map for the vacation trip to your child and have them plot the route. Builds both math and technical reading skills. The same works for the plans for the tree house or the recipe for dinner.
• Set an hour a day as reading time for all ages. Even three-year-olds can look at a picture book during their rest time. This builds the habit of reading into the family culture. It also gives parents a quiet break in the day. Need ideas for books? Consider Honey for a Child's Heart. Gladys Hunt creates age-appropriate lists of the best books available. 

Hands-on--

• If you haven't discovered 4-H--attend your county's local fair and take in the projects. You don't need farm animals to participate. Projects are available in nearly every interest--rockets, photography, cake decorating, gift wrap, genealogy, electricity, bicycle maintenance--you name it. Take your children to see the exhibits and choose their project. You can still stop by the 4-H office to get the manuals and complete a project even this summer. While children won't be part of the fair--working through the projects offers an opportunity to learn a myriad of new skills in your child's area of interest.
• Go to state park, nature center, or library programs. These bring learning to life in a fun way.

When kids engage in activities--they learn. Take the opportunity to turn everyday life into exploration--and your children will go back to school on track and loving learning.

Please join us to encourage each other with your insights, remembering to keep comments uplifting and considerate of all. Click on 'comments' below to discuss this month's topic.