• When children are being children. Children haven't yet lived the range of experiences you have. They don't know how to negotiate social situations or accurately assess choices. We don't punish when they act out of childish ignorance.

• We don't punish because a child's act inconvenienced, embarrassed, or put us in an uncomfortable spot. Just because child asks a question we can't answer, we don't punish. Just because child repeated a remark we made that we now regret, we don't punish. Just because child's plan for learning drums means the pots aren't on hand, we don't punish. We might have a discussion about a better choice. We explain what we would like to see instead. But, we don't punish. They didn't disobey--they merely acted in a way we didn't anticipate and don't know how to handle. We figure out how to handle rather than wreaking vengeance.

• We don't punish because we're tired, overwhelmed, or stressed. Too often, especially in homes where both parents work, both parents are strained to the limit. The best energy, attention, and emotion get expended for the person writing the pay check. We have only dregs to offer our family. When children demand more than this simply by needing our time or attention, we often snap. And punish. This is wrong. Our children deserve our best time, energy, emotion--not the leftovers. Parents must reserve their best for their family to avoid acting out of stress or tiredness. Don't let work become the excuse for being either a lazy parent or a wrongly punishing parent.

Spring—sunshine, warmth, the chance to get outside and burn energy. Spring—the great rescuer of parents. After a winter shut inside to escape cold, damp, dreary days; Spring invites families to explore, engage, and escape the cabin fever for the great outdoors. But, once we get outside, what do we do?

Let’s face it—dreary days often lead to using the television as a babysitter so we can get things done. The upside—children are entertained while we get dinner, mop the floor, and make calls. The downside—an overdose of video (whether computer, video game, or movie) leads to passive kids. Kids who don’t know how to self-start with play. They need a little nudge. Spring can help.

• Plant a garden. Whether you go whole hog and plant rows of flowers or veggies or stay small with one large pot, gardens offer parents and children to engage together, learn together, and work together. Give your child a pot of their own or a row of their own. Go to the seed store to let them choose the plants they want to grow—a special flower for their own vase, a butterfly bush to watch their own butterflies, or a plant of their favorite veggie.

Digging, planting, and watering focus kid energy in a positive direction AND connect them to the project. They’ll be more likely to stick with the project. Further, they’ll likely help you with your portion of the garden!

As you prepare the soil, choose the seeds, and teach them how to plant—conversation grows. You’ll be amazed how much more you might learn about your child as you work alongside each other.

• Set up a sports area. Sure community sports teams offer a variety of experiences, great teaching, and the benefits of being part of a team. Yet, they so often pull families apart. Instead of Dad throwing the ball to his child in the backyard, we pay a coach to throw the ball. Deep connection and good memories get lost. Further, the overloaded schedule of practices and games for multiple children can mean family connection gets lost. One summer when we had three children in soccer, we routinely missed our oldest child’s games because the younger two were playing on different fields at different locations—not the scenario any of us wanted.

Get the benefits of both. Use the community sports opportunities for the benefits they offer, but have your own sports area in the backyard. Use garage sales to get equipment to span the ages. Find games family can do together—hopscotch, badminton, soccer, bocce ball all make great choices for young to old, skilled to unskilled. Setting up the area means parents and children alike can simply go outside and get started without a lot of preparation or guidance. Children learn the skills of working together in the family. Bonds grow as you play together. Everyone gets healthier.

• Explore community treasures. With gas prices rising and budgets shrinking, focus on the unique attractions of your community. Warming temperatures afford the opportunity to take the family to the local cave, park, or outdoor concert. Locate a guide for local festivals and special attractions. Let the children choose their event of the week or month. Together you build family memories, use stored energy from the winter, and you build stronger connections within your community.

The dreary days of winter are waning! Let Spring begin!