“You can be anything.”

“You can have it all.”

“Follow your dreams, and you will soar.”

Is there anything wrong when Christian parents adopt these phrases to encourage our children? Turns out—yes. These phrases not only create false assumptions for our children about how the world works—they reflect the very rebellion in Eden.

As a mom I want to encourage my children to dream big. To push themselves to excellence. I want them to be ready to serve God in endeavors that will come to surpass their knowledge or understanding. Yet, I’m also learning how often I have adopted a pattern of our culture that seems to encourage or empower our children but whose foundations actually work against the faith my husband and I are trying to instill in them.

Marjorie Thompson in her book, Soul Feast, helped me see the inherent false thinking behind these phrases that have become common in encouraging children—phrases that claim “there are no limits on what you can do. Go big and you will succeed.”

She states, “In Eden God gave Adam and Eve every fruit of the garden but one. The one fruit, out of a world of variety, indicated a limit to human freedom. Accepting that limit was the single abstinence required by God. It was a way of recognizing that human beings are dependent on God for life. But Adam and Eve allowed themselves to be seduced by the serpent . . . .In  refusing to accept the natural bounds of their creaturehood, they reached for the very place of God. . . .The human race now lives as if there were no legitimate limits.  . . .Limits are to be assaulted through the powers of intelligence and technology until they yield to human ingenuity and control. . . A life that recognizes no limits cannot recognize the sovereignty of God.”

I have to say that the phrase “you can be anything” has always troubled me, but I could never put my finger on exactly why. I saw the surface lie. I can't truly be anything. I can’t be the first black, female President as I’m not black. I can’t be a basketball star as I’m not tall or athletic. I can’t be an engineer as my brain simply can’t comprehend that level of math.

Yet, Thompson points at the deeper reason for resisting this philosophy of our culture—we can’t “be anything” because we were designed by God to be limited. Those very limits were designed to keep us dependent on and in relationship with God. Those limits help define our purpose by cutting off paths that don't fit and focusing us on the path God designed. When we as parents carelessly adopt the encouragement of our culture to “be anything” we unintentionally instill in our children the very thinking that will undermine the relationship with God we long them to have.

In a culture whose greatest achievements have entailed breaking through limits, it’s hard to escape this thinking. We’ve come to see limits as an enemy. As Christians we need to think differently—and to disciple our children to do the same.

Our children are fearfully and wonderfully made by the ultimate designer. They have purpose and meaning beyond comprehension. They live with the promise that it is the “glory of kings to search out a matter” (Prov. 25:2), which may mean our children will be led by God to break through a current limit to bring blessing to the world. But, in our encouragement, in our setting a high bar for their purpose, in our casting a vision that they follow God into works we cannot even yet imagine—we need to ground our children in the understanding that they are limited. And for a purpose.

Adam and Eve had the world before them with nearly unlimited power to work God’s creation. God gave one limit to ensure they remained dependent on Him and did that work for His glory. The redemption of Christ is to recognize the limits on our ability to relate to God through any means except Jesus and our dependence on Him for everything. He promises that this dependence on Him will bear much fruit. John 15:4. That’s the encouragement I long my children to live by.