“How do I love thee? Let me count the ways.” Elizabeth Barrett Browning.

One of the best holidays of the year, Valentine’s Day offers the chance to celebrate love in all its forms. From fun to goofy to deeply romantic, each expression of love reveals, not only the love, but the heart of the lover. As families break from the gloom of winter to celebrate Valentine’s Day, let us count the ways we can show love to each other.

Words. Powerful and lasting, words are a family’s most potent love potion. Words generate connection. Words offer encouragement. Words nurture life. Your Valentines card will have funny, creative, or passionate words of love for your family. How about mixing a few of those into daily conversation?

Just as important are the tone and the expression accompanying those words. Sarcasm, long-suffering, and exasperation are love killers. Though she may have every right to be impatient, a flustered mom who takes a deep breath and instead offers encouragement creates love. A frustrated husband who gently pulls his wife into an embrace and whispers words of peace creates love. A sibling who meekly apologizes for trashing a Lego masterpiece creates love. Count words as a major way to love.

Acceptance. People crave security and significance. Acceptance—a recognition and genuine appreciation for the unique individuality of each person in our family—builds both, along with love. Acceptance creates the security of, "I am loved for who I am." A daughter’s love of domestic pursuits may drive her hard-charging mom up the wall while a son’s inclination for piano may interfere with dad’s football fantasies. Yet, the purposeful disregarding of expectations in favor of genuine acceptance affirms that each person is significant precisely because of who they are. Whether dad loudly cheers at son’s recital or mom purchases a needed skein of yarn, acceptance speaks love.

Time. Love is spelled T-I-M-E. Where we spend our time indicates our highest priorities. While counting the ways you love each other, count the times you set aside to be together. Regular dates with your children to catch up individually, family outings to build camaraderie, and family dinners to unify all add up to times that create a home of love. Don’t forget your spouse. Married people still need to date. Take time for romantic interludes to rekindle and reconnect. As the foundation of the home, a loving marriage creates a loving home. Make time.

Touch. Every human being needs four hugs per day merely to survive, eight hugs per day to maintain a strong emotional level, and twelve hugs per day to grow. As you count the ways to say “I love you,” count the hugs. It’s easy to hug our babies and toddlers. Those teens get a little more difficult—yet, they still need hugs. Become a house that hugs, that hi-fives, that back-pats, that tousles hair, and that squeezes. As you tender physical touch, you create tenderness that translates into love.

These are just a few ways to count the ways we love our family. As the month progresses, why not create and count a few new ways of your very own?



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This month’s topic: What are the ways you treasure your days with your children?

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