The last few days have featured horror--both in Boston and West, Texas. When turning on the news to find out the weather, it's amazing how breaking news can blast it's way into our living rooms--and our children's awareness. The vivid pictures and detailed analysis can prove overwhelming, especially for young minds. When tragedy strikes, parents can help their children process.
First, reiterate security. Make concrete and clear that you are here to protect your children and will do so. Though, as adults we are aware of all we can't control, our children need to be able to count on us. The reassurance of our presence and our focus makes a huge difference to our children's sense of security. Statements such as, "I will take care of you," offer this reassurance. For older children, offer age-appropriate answers for their questions. When information is scant, people often imagine the worst. Allowing our children to ask questions and giving them the information they can handle helps quell their fears. For the information that's too much, simply say,"People who know best are handling that. You don't need to worry."

Second, give children a focus--praying for the wounded, gathering donations, or writing cards are a few of the kid-sized outreaches that can make a difference for our children and the victims. When we offer children a way to reach out, we give a measure of control they can take to do something positive. Good medicine.

Finally, restrict the viewing. Children--especially younger ones--can't distinguish what is happening across the country from what is happening down the street. The fires of West, Texas seem next door. While we may want to remain riveted for the latest details, most likely not much will change between dinner and after children head to bed. Get your news when they can't hear the grisly details.
When tragedy strikes, our children's security can take a hit. As parents, we must be on the front lines to help our children process the events within the context of our protection and love.


Please join us to encourage each other with your insights, remembering to keep comments uplifting and considerate of all. Click on 'comments' below to discuss this month's topic.

Want to get close to your children? Try planting a garden this spring. Whether you stick to one tomato plant in the corner of your deck or fill a back yard with flowers, the benefits grow as quickly as the blooms.

• Conversation--Something about the slow, steady work of tilling soil or weeding plants makes room for unstructured conversation. Without the distractions of household noise, what begins as a discussion of where to put the seeds flows into noticing the shapes in the clouds, the call of the birds, and then whatever else is on our child's mind. Parents have so much pulling at us--we can so easily be unavailable to our children for far more time than we realize. Between the computer, dinner, and bills we put our children off to take care of the details of life. Gardening buffers out aspects that interrupt and allows for conversation while working--a great recipe for connection.

• Exploration--I love rediscovering the world through my child's eyes. Gardening opens aspects of the world to discovery. The worms and bugs living in the soil that aid our labors, the wonder of a tiny seed becoming dinner in a few weeks--a myriad of discoveries await in our backyards to be shared. When children ask questions about how the process works, we either share what we know or grab a book and discover together--great memories.

• Work ethic--God designed children to learn from their parents while working beside them. Deuteronomy 6:6-7. Children inherently love being with their parents, learning from them, and participating with them. We've lost a lot of that dynamic in our current culture. More, children have lost the opportunities to engage in productive work. By institutionalizing an extended play culture for children, we've separated children from real work. Our children often can't see themselves as able to engage in meaningful activity which produces positive results for others. Gardening counteracts this. It tests physical as well as intellectual skills. It creates problem solving moments such as how to keep the deer or chickens away from the baby plants. Further, when the team brings that harvest of tomatoes or bouquet of flowers to the table, they share in the knowledge that together with you--they have done something meaningful.

Tips for succeeding:

• Start small--If you haven't gardened before, take it slow. A few plants in a small plot may be the perfect introduction. Giving children their own garden offers a sense of connection and ownership that engages and excited them. Till some soil around a tree for wildflowers or create a small plot for her favorite vegetable. If it goes well, take the excitement from this year's success to expand next year.

• Let your child pick--Build your child's enthusiasm by letting him make a few choices. Let him check options in the seed catalogue or head to a store to let your child choose the plants they want to tend. Ownership leads to longer commitment.

• Celebrate victories--Make a feast featuring the first fruits from the garden or decorate the house with the blooms from the flowers. As you bring the successes into your home, you communicate their efforts have tangible value which both increases the connection between you and affirms a work ethic in them.

Spring is here. Enjoy the outdoors together through gardening and by fall you'll harvest a richer relationship with your children.

Please join us to encourage each other with your insights, remembering to keep comments uplifting and considerate of all. Click on 'comments' below to discuss this month's topic.