- Routinely repeating yourself to get your children to listen?
- Scolding your children for talking over you?
- Yelling because children failed to do what you asked?
If you answered yes, you may have a "listening" problem. Most parents can relate. We talk--but it seems nobody listens.
We repeat. We search for ways to make our children pay attention. But, all too often we settle for simply being annoyed because we have bought into "it's just kids being kids." We need to take this listening thing more seriously. When our children develop a habit of listening carefully, they not only relate better to us--they are enabled to hold onto the truths of God.
"Therefore, consider carefully how you listen." Jesus offers this warning just after He explained the parables of the Sower and the Seed and the Lamp on a Stand to His confused disciples. Jesus cautions the disciples that listening is critical to receiving from God. Those who listen carefully, receive more. Those who fail to do so have anything they have received taken away.
Little habits have great impact. My children have sweet hearts, sunny dispositions, and generous spirits--all received from God. Because we have a large family with many eager voices, all too often I let slide the talking over one another. Because we have competing agendas and busy schedules, all too often I overlook the failure to heed my instructions. But, every time I do that, I normalize failing to listen carefully. I normalize instead the very trait Jesus warned could cost my children what they have already received.
I need to normalize listening carefully. I need to:
- Refuse to engage in a pattern of repeating myself.
- Consistently enforce the rule that when one person is speaking, others are silent. And, attentively listening.
- Train my children to heed an instruction given the first time rather than waiting for the repeat, or worse, the yell.
Most of all I need to take my children to God's Word and point them to how seriously Jesus takes attentive listening. I need to impress the importance of practicing this in our home so we are ready to carefully listen to God. Then, our children will not only keep their sweet hearts, sunny dispositions, and generous spirits--God will continue to pour Himself into them because, through choosing to listen carefully to Him, they make Him the priority in their lives.
This month’s topic: What do you think?
Our
family recently finished a book on the Lewis and Clark expedition. We were
amazed by the level of both hardship and beauty they encountered. I was
particularly convicted by the chapters describing the party's journey
negotiating a narrow ledge through the Rockies for several weeks--experiencing
bitter temperatures, slippery snow, and lack of food most of the way. As each
day's description unfolded, I kept
wondering, "How did they make it? Why didn't they just give
up?"
I suffer from a common malady. I too often assume that, if someone is on the right course, it should unfold before them. Obstacles should clear; blessings fall. History teaches that it so often doesn't work that way. The soldiers at Valley Forge, Christians who hid Jews in Europe, missionaries who took the gospel to foreign lands--all too often these faced overwhelming circumstances and I'm sure questioned, "Why not just give up?" But, they didn't. And their efforts achieved greatness--in spite of, or perhaps because of, the hardship.
I want my children to learn these lessons of history. Hardship doesn't mean you're on the wrong path or made the wrong choice. Sometimes hardship is a key element of the right choice. Rather than allowing my children to buy into the cultural attitude that life will simply fall into place, I want to train my children to make good choices, courageous choices, then be prepared for the hardships that might come.
This month’s topic: What do you think?
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