“Mom—can you play, NOW?”
How often I hear those words! They are both a blessing—and a little bit of a curse. Of course I want to play with my children. Some of our best memories are created during the fun moments of the day. At the same time, there’s always work to do. If I take time to play a game on the floor, I see the laundry waiting to be folded. If I go outside to swing, I see the garden needs weeding. Yet, working to make a home for others but never sharing their lives is pretty pointless mothering. So, what’s a mom to do?
· Set a schedule. We’ve all heard, “Pick your battles.” This is great advice for balancing time spent on the housework with time spent engaging with children. At the beginning of the day—block out a time period for work and a time for play. Choose the most important tasks and complete those during work time. A deadline for completing house tasks often leads to more efficiency. At the same time, if you can let kiddos know that you will be available to play at a certain time (and you stick to it), they are more likely to let you work in peace. Focus on work during work time, then head to play time and treat it with the same priority as work (it’s just a lot more fun!). For some moms, just putting play on the list legitimizes the time rather than seeing it as a competition for the “real” work.
· Recruit the children. A wise mom once told me, “If mom is working while others are playing, something is very wrong.” If your children are over the age of three, they are ready to offer real help around the house. Sure, you have to stick with age appropriate expectations, but a four year old can fold socks, put clothes in drawers, and pick up toys. Reduce your workload and spend time with children by getting them to work with you.
Younger children should work in the same room as you so you can oversee their efforts. Older children can be assigned tasks on their own. Again, if you make clear, “We’re going to work until 11:00 on (specify tasks), then enjoy some time together” chances are you’ll get cooperation. Even better—have children contribute to the list of what needs done and plan who will do what part. Their ownership increases productivity. Children learn how to cooperate with each other, develop an understanding for all you do, and appreciate the playtime much more.
· Leave the house. I’ve found that leaving the house substantially increases my enjoyment of time with my children. Whether we head to the pool or park, I can concentrate on them rather than that crumb covered counter or ringing phone. Focus on destinations that are child proof, easy to navigate, and encourage togetherness rather than separation and you’ll have a series of fun outings that build great playtime memories.
“Mom, can you play now?” With a little planning, you can say “Yes! Let’s go!” and engage in some of the most treasured moments of the day.
This month’s topic: How do you create balance between the roles you carry?
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