Are you planning big for Valentine's Day? Don't forget the love language. If I stood in the middle of the village square shouting, "Te amo, Miguel!" hoping to thrill my husband's heart--he would probably admit me for psychiatric evaluation. He doesn't speak Spanish. For him--this would hugely miss the target of proclaiming my love. As Gary Chapman points out in his book, The Five Love Languages, for my husband to hear this pronouncement of undying affection, I must speak his language. True for all of us. As you reach out to spouse, children, and friends--take the time to consider: "Does this person respond most to":

1. Words of affirmation--does he light up when payed a compliment or receives a note? Be sure to spend extra time picking the card or write a love letter describing what you treasure about him to include in his candy box.
2. Gifts--does she save every tiny shell given on the beach or still have the locket from her 7th birthday? Taking the time to find a special gift will matter most to this person. It doesn't have to be expensive. Just a gift showing you know her tastes and current interests.
3. Time--does he savor walks together or time on the couch just talking? Create a few coupons for special dates together. Put these on the calendar so he knows you intend to follow through.
4. Physical touch--does she crave a back rub or holding hands? Again-coupons work well. This time prepare coupons for a massage or cuddle time and let her choose her time.
5. Acts of service--if he remembers for weeks the filled gas tank or she the folded laundry, spend the days before and after Valentine's Day intentionally doing jobs that make your loved one's life easier. When they notice, give a kiss and say, "I hope that helps you know how special you are."

While the ones you love may enjoy all the above--be sure to include the expression of love that speaks most loudly to them. Then, you connect with the ones you love--and avoid the shrink's couch.

Please join us to encourage each other with your insights, remembering to keep comments uplifting and considerate of all. Click on 'comments' below to discuss this month's topic.