No more series!! That decision follows the third time I've tried and found that each time, some family crisis keeps me from going forward.
Instead, I'm simply going to offer insights as they come to me in the area of family. That usually means sharing my most recent goof in mothering or wifing and how God brought me through it so that you can avoid my mistakes--or at least find a way out if you are already there.
Today's insight--Tester vs. Teacher. My husband's stroke has offered amazing insights into how people work. One of the most telling--there are testers and there are teachers. Two of his therapists clearly demonstrate this dichotomy.
One therapist begins every session pulling out books, putting Mike through his paces, then detailing every instance where he got the answer wrong. Shes uses this to explain what that means about what he can't do and where he will struggle. Though enlightening, he leaves each session his shoulders slumped, his walk slower, his mood down. She discourages and breeds fear and a sense of failure.
The other therapist pulls out her books, puts Mike through his paces, then details every instance where he succeeded. She then builds on areas of success to increase his abilities in weaker areas. She shows him how one success leads to another. He leaves sessions with her standing a little taller, walking a little quicker, enthusiastic about trying again. She encourages and breeds security and a sense of hope.
"I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go." Psalm 32:8. God is a teacher. He encourages, nurtures, builds from where we are to where we need to go. In our families, if we are to model God--refuse to be a tester. Sure assessments are helpful and sometimes a gut check is needed. But, the atmosphere of our homes should be that of teaching. In this we build our families, encourage them, and offer hope that they can reach those seemingly impossible calls to which we aspire.
What good encouragement to keep our focus on actually teaching our children and not just showing them where they get it wrong. I love the example of Mike's stroke, because it reminded me that my kids may know what I expect, just as Mike probably knows what the therapist wants from him. However, teaching involves more than just telling them what to do then expecting it to happen right away. You're uplifting, Tess! Thanks so much for another great reminder!
Lisa